ONE FALL, NO DISQUALIFICATIONS

9.15.2008

RE: PAUL BEARER AKA FAULKNERIZATION OF THE WWF



ONE PARTICULAR AFTERNOON

Well we're gonna have to go back a few years Mr Mc Mahon about twenty years to be exact. We're talking bout a little funeral home sitting up on a hill, beautiful old trees all around, and a wonderful wonderful family-owned funeral home. The family lived upstairs, the father was the mortician who ran the funeral home, the mother was the secretary the receptionist but there were two little kids there. One kid was a little red-headed punk. And then there was a second kid, a sweet little kid named Kane. Now I was the apprentice at the funeral home, I worked under the red-headed punks' father, who by now you know is the Undertaker. The Undertaker's father was a mortician of excellence. He taught me everything I know. He taught me the correct way to prepare a body for burial, how to do the makeup, how to deal with the families, he taught me from A to Z. But while I was working at that funeral home, I seen a lot of things going on that shouldnt been happening. This little red-headed punk, there was something funny about him. He had a look in his eye, THE LOOK OF THE DEVIL, he was the devil's seed if you know what I mean...

That poor little Kane, the little brother, followed the Undertaker around everywhere he went. The Undertaker was little Kane's hero. Anything the Undertaker did was fine. Well it went on for about two years my apprenticeship, I was going to college at night, taking courses in mortuary sciences at the same time. The Undertaker and Kane would run around the funeral home like wild men. They had free reign of the property. They'd sneak out behind the garage, I seen what they were doing; their mom and daddy didn't see what they were doing, but I saw what they were doing. I saw them taking chemicals out of the embalming room of the funeral room. I saw them sneaking behind the garage smoking cigarettes when they were little kids.

But you know one particular afternoon, I was leaving to go to school. As I backed my car out of the funeral home, I looked behind and who do I see. That red-head devil seed, Undertaker, with his little brother. Something was funny, something didn't seem right. But I went ahead and backed out of the driveway and went to school. I came back from school about ten o clock that night. And what do I see? I see firetrucks! I see ambulance. I see steam and smoke and I see the funeral home in ashes. Someone burned down the funeral home. Inside the funeral home was this lovely family that took care of me. I looked over to the bushes. Who did I see in the bushes but the Undertaker! Undertaker! You burnt the funeral home to the ground. And along with the funeral home, you killed your parents.

You killed your family Undertaker! I knew it! I've had this secret on my inside all my life. Twenty years! You killed them. Undertaker! You are a murderer! You are a murderer Undertaker! You are a goddamn Murderer!

1 comment:

brettdavis said...

The best storylines make you forget the insane subject matter. Like this one.